Ode to Edward

Alas, poor Edward!

I knew him, Lori. He was an endlessly happy creature, so strong, so virile. Why, I rode on his back a thousand times!

And now, thinking about it is so horrible, it just irks me to no end. Right here were the big cow lips I kissed–I don’t know–a million times?

Where are your snorts now? Where are your futile charges? Your pawing at the sand? Your moments of dazed confusion that made the whole arena cheer, ole! You’ve got not a single of these left to mock that grin you have!

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